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30shards2005-03-11 08:44 pm
indefiance.livejournal.com) wrote in 30shards2005-03-11 08:44 pm
Entry tags:
Theme: whisper(s) // Claimed pairing: Naraku&Rin
Title: Flowers
Claimed pairing: Naraku & Rin
Rating: R
Words: 410
Genre: Dark / Romance
Summary: "The wind whispers to the flowers quietly, tickling their delicate petals with sweet nothings before their death."
Squicks: Naraku with young Rin, sexual, and slightly disturbing. Also: first time writing Naraku / Rin.
Pluck.
She grabs them carelessly, gathers them into her hands, and smothers them with her tiny fist.
Pluck, pluck.
The wind whispers to the flowers quietly, tickling their delicate petals with sweet nothings before their death. Then, the flowers are severed and taken away with blithe pleasure.
Pluck, pluck, pluck.
The flowers are so pretty in her hands, so pretty and beautiful and dead. Others are left behind. They are not pretty enough to die. Their bodies remain intact, swaying in the wind, a macabre dance for the chosen ones.
Go a little farther, and pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck.
Her companion does not see her, nor does he want to. His bulbous eyes are closed, and his mouth is open with sounds of sleep. She giggles softly, and wanders farther with her death march.
Her bare feet crush the flowers softly, suffocating them, choking them. They squish beneath her, render the petals to small pieces and stick to the bottom of her small feet.
They tremble as she bends over to reach for them. The wind is whispering, comforting and false.
Pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck.
She stops and looks around her, a little lost and confused. The wind gently glides over her body. It caresses her ears, strokes her neck gently, and whispers to her. It tells her of flowers, plucked and broken away, their vibrant colors seeping onto her little palm.
"Just like my soul," it purrs. "Bleeding on your hands, red and purple. Look."
She looks down, and sees the red and purple corollas that were accidentally crushed inside her hands. They look pretty against the milky white flesh of her palm. So pretty and dead.
The wind curls around her legs, wrapping themselves around her thighs. "You are too old to be picking flowers," it licks at her ear.
"Rin will always be little," she whispers back.
It tugs at her hair. "That is what he told you."
"He never lies to Rin." She closes her eyes, and mewls a little when it blows softly against her inner thigh.
"You will die one day, and he will leave you." Farther, farther up, it breathes.
Her knees are trembling. Something curls inside of her tightly. "He will never leave Rin. Never."
A warm gust makes her shudder.
"He will. Then you will be so pretty," it whispers, "so pretty and dead."
She glances down at her flowers, crushed and choked and so wonderfully pretty.
Pretty and dead.
Claimed pairing: Naraku & Rin
Rating: R
Words: 410
Genre: Dark / Romance
Summary: "The wind whispers to the flowers quietly, tickling their delicate petals with sweet nothings before their death."
Squicks: Naraku with young Rin, sexual, and slightly disturbing. Also: first time writing Naraku / Rin.
Pluck.
She grabs them carelessly, gathers them into her hands, and smothers them with her tiny fist.
Pluck, pluck.
The wind whispers to the flowers quietly, tickling their delicate petals with sweet nothings before their death. Then, the flowers are severed and taken away with blithe pleasure.
Pluck, pluck, pluck.
The flowers are so pretty in her hands, so pretty and beautiful and dead. Others are left behind. They are not pretty enough to die. Their bodies remain intact, swaying in the wind, a macabre dance for the chosen ones.
Go a little farther, and pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck.
Her companion does not see her, nor does he want to. His bulbous eyes are closed, and his mouth is open with sounds of sleep. She giggles softly, and wanders farther with her death march.
Her bare feet crush the flowers softly, suffocating them, choking them. They squish beneath her, render the petals to small pieces and stick to the bottom of her small feet.
They tremble as she bends over to reach for them. The wind is whispering, comforting and false.
Pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck.
She stops and looks around her, a little lost and confused. The wind gently glides over her body. It caresses her ears, strokes her neck gently, and whispers to her. It tells her of flowers, plucked and broken away, their vibrant colors seeping onto her little palm.
"Just like my soul," it purrs. "Bleeding on your hands, red and purple. Look."
She looks down, and sees the red and purple corollas that were accidentally crushed inside her hands. They look pretty against the milky white flesh of her palm. So pretty and dead.
The wind curls around her legs, wrapping themselves around her thighs. "You are too old to be picking flowers," it licks at her ear.
"Rin will always be little," she whispers back.
It tugs at her hair. "That is what he told you."
"He never lies to Rin." She closes her eyes, and mewls a little when it blows softly against her inner thigh.
"You will die one day, and he will leave you." Farther, farther up, it breathes.
Her knees are trembling. Something curls inside of her tightly. "He will never leave Rin. Never."
A warm gust makes her shudder.
"He will. Then you will be so pretty," it whispers, "so pretty and dead."
She glances down at her flowers, crushed and choked and so wonderfully pretty.
Pretty and dead.
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*builds a shrine and brings sacrifices*
*_*
That is all.
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Naraku's voice as an edge to the wind is an intriguing concept. Made me think vaguely of Kagura for a moment, actually, but then you threw the details at us and I knew without a doubt that it was Naraku himself. It was neat, that instant of indecision. I knew it was someone evil, but I didn't know who, and all I could think was, "Oh noes! Not cute, helpless Rin!"
The end is great. Sudden, and ominious, and perfect as a lead-in to future stories. My only complaint is that this seemed short. All good stories seem short, but still . . . =P
Of the two shards you've written, this is my favourite. The flower theme, the repetitive return to the plucked stems, the strange and yet suitable comparison between Naraku's dark soul and the stains left behind by crushed petals -- it's all so vivid, and so original. I love your confident, concise style; it gives the whole scene a life of its own. ^_^
*sigh* I guess now I have to wait . . . XP
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By the way, what is your fave pairing, if you have any?
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That's for Inuyasha, of course. My all-time favourite pairing is Final Fantasy VII CloudTifa. You wouldn't happen to be into any gaming fandoms, would you? >.O
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I <3 your taste in fanfics! =O Let us band together and, uh, serve spiked punch or something. =D
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